Wanted: Expert Thief, Arctic Experience A Bonus

My first week back has turned out to be eventful, but probably not in a great way. The week started early - a 7.15 am alarm resonating through my head, never a good start after a solid 2 weeks of lie-ins. Went to get my bike out of the shed just before going to work (I'd brought the bike all the way from Scotland the previous day) to find the shed lock was ever so stiff due to the cold. But being a man I naturally thought forcing the key was the best option - it had started to turn after all. Apparently not, the key has sheered in the lock, leaving half of it behind. Not even 8am yet and I'd ruined my day, but you can only laugh at these things I suppose.

The error was compounded by the fact that my landlady has gone to South Africa for a month and so won't return with a spare key until then. So I have a month to fish the other part of the key out of the lock. This has been delayed by the snowfall, and by my lethargy, but first forays shall be attempted soon. Don't suppose anyone is an expert lock-pick?

However the funniest moment of the week was definitely the snow day. Everywhere in the country was covered in inches of snow, except for Stevenage. Stevenage can never do anything well, so we only managed about 2 inches. The roads were all perfectly drivable and we've even got enough grit that the parks and underpasses are all gritted. However at work everyone was convinced a blizzard was coming at 3pm thanks to the bbc website forecast (which this week has proved to be very unreliable). Some departments went home at 11.30 in anticipation of the awful 12-hour journeys ahead of them (it took them max 40 mins to get home) Right enough the snow started at 12, and the exodus was like those scenes in I Am Legend, Independence Day, etc. Best excuse was "I want to get home before it gets dark" - that's 4 hours for a 15 minute drive. By the end of lunchtime it seemed the only 3 people left in my lab were a Scotsman, a Frenchman and a former marine - sounds like the start to a bad joke doesn't it? The pattern was repeated across the site (minus the marine). I definitely think the English need to be aware of their weak snow constitution and to battle on. I mean we made it to 3.30 before going home, obviously hardcore scientists us. It was highly revealing though that I went to the pub at 5 that night to find every pub in Stevenage unusually brimming with people, no coincidence I guess.